Giáo dục bằng KỶ LUẬT hay TÌNH CẢM – Cách nào tốt hơn?

Nhiều cha mẹ phân vân không biết nên chọn phương pháp kỷ luật hay tình cảm để giáo dục con. Nếu chúng ta chỉ dùng kỷ luật để giáo dục con thì bạn đã biến gia đình bạn thành một đơn vị quân đội, trong đó bạn chính là người chỉ huy còn con cái bạn là các binh nhì. Chắc chắn đó không phải là điều bạn mong muốn. Nếu bạn chỉ dùng tình cảm để giáo dục con mà không vạch ra những giới hạn không được phép vượt qua cho trẻ thì có thể con bạn sẽ không xác định đâu là ranh giới của mọi việc. Vì vậy, vừa yêu thương, vừa nghiêm khắc là phương pháp giáo dục tốt nhất đối với trẻ. Có một phương pháp dung hòa được giữa yêu thương và kỷ luật, đó là kỷ luật tích cực.

5 quy tắc lịch thiệp trên bàn ăn mẹ cần dạy cho bé.
Thay vì nói KHÔNG với trẻ, mẹ có thể nói theo cách này.

kỷ luật với trẻ 1 

Kỷ luật tích cực là những hình thức kỷ luật không xúc phạm thân thể và danh dự của con trẻ. Quan niệm “Yêu cho roi cho vọt, ghét cho ngọt cho bùi” đã khiến các bậc phụ huynh thoải mái trút giận dữ lên đầu con trẻ. Nhiều cha mẹ biện minh cho hành động đó là dạy con. Việc trút giận dữ lên con sẽ gây ra những dư chấn nghiêm trọng ảnh hưởng tới sự phát triển của trẻ. Chọn sự sợ hãi để để làm động lực bắt trẻ vâng lời thì chúng ta đã vô tình làm thương tổn tinh thần của các con. Vì vậy thay vì dùng đòn roi, trách mắng, cha mẹ hãy:

Để con nhận giá phải trả khi gây ra hậu quả

Cha mẹ có thể tước đi một đồ vật hoặc quyền lợi của con hay con phải làm một công việc mà con không thích. Ví dụ: khi con bạn ném đồ chơi khi hờn dỗi, bạn có thể phạt bé bằng việc không được đi chơi công viên trong 1 tuần hay bé phải sắp xếp lại tất cả các đồ chơi vào đúng vị trí.

Việc con phải nhận giá phải trả khi gây ra các hậu quả sẽ giúp trẻ xác định được các hành vi được phép và không được phép thực hiện, xác định được ranh giới không được phép vượt qua. Nhờ vậy, trẻ sẽ biết và không thử nghiệm những hành vi sai trái.

Trí thông minh của con hoàn toàn do gen từ cha mẹ?
Cách rèn luyện trí nhớ cho trẻ dưới 6 tuổi.

Đưa ra các quy tắc mà trẻ cần tuân theo

Để trẻ biết giới hạn cho những hành động của mình, Phụ huynh nên ngồi lại cùng con cái để đưa gia các nội quy mà cả nhà đình cần phải thực hiện. Những nguyên tắc này được áp dụng cho tất cả các thành viên trong gia đình. Cha mẹ cần nghiêm túc thực hiện để làm gương cho con, tránh việc tiền hậu bất nhất.

Hiểu ý nghĩa đằng sau hành vi của trẻ

Naomi Aldort, tác giả cuốn sách “Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves” (tạm dịch: Nuôi dạy con cái, nuôi dạy chính mình) cho rằng trẻ con luôn muốn ứng xử tốt; nếu chúng hành xử sai thì hẳn là phải có lý do nào đó.

Vậy nên cha mẹ hãy tự hỏi bản thân mình: có phải con đánh anh/chị/em là vì muốn thu hút sự chú ý của bạn? Có phải bạn mải nghe điện thoại quá lâu hay nỡ lơ là con khi bạn đang bù đầu với việc nhà?

Nếu là vậy, bạn phải tự thay đổi hành vi của mình như thế nào để thỏa mãn nhu cầu của con?

Khi nào cần dạy kỹ năng sống cho trẻ?
Năng khiếu có di truyền hay không?

kỷ luật với trẻ

Cha mẹ phải biết tự kiểm soát bản thân (thay vì cố gắng kiểm soát con)

Các bậc phụ huynh hãy học cách nhanh chóng lấy lại sự bình tĩnh khi tức giận lúc dạy con. Những phút nóng giận chúng ta thường khó giữ tỉnh táo. Tâm trạng, lời nói, hành động khi tức giận của cha mẹ có thể vô tình làm chấn thương tâm lý, bạo hành tinh thần đứa trẻ, tạo nên những vết thương, khiếm khuyết về nhân cách khi trẻ lớn.

Hãy trở thành một phụ huynh vừa nghiêm khắc vừa từ bi, bao dung, thương yêu. Có thể la mắng, nghiêm khắc với con nhưng phải xuất phát từ tình thương yêu chứ không phải từ sự bực dọc, tức giận, trút giận.

Việc giáo dục một đứa trẻ như thế nào phải tùy thuộc vào sự phát triển trí tuệ, khả năng tiếp thu của trẻ chứ không nên theo một công thức cứng nhắc. Hãy đặt hết tâm trí vào trẻ, bạn sẽ tìm được cách thức phù hợp nhất với con của mình.


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Các tế bào não bộ kết nối với nhau như thế nào?
Phương pháp phát huy tối đa tiềm năng của trẻ
Chất dinh dưỡng tốt cho sự phát triển não bộ.
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418 thoughts on “Giáo dục bằng KỶ LUẬT hay TÌNH CẢM – Cách nào tốt hơn?

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