7 hành động thường ngày của người lớn vô tình bạo hành tinh thần của trẻ

Sự thật là chính chúng ta – những phụ huynh đang vật lộn mỗi ngày để cân bằng giữa công việc và cuộc sống, chứa chất trong người những lo âu, căng thẳng, mâu thuẫn để tồn tại và bắt kịp với nhịp sống hiện đại hối hả và gấp gáp. Có phải điều đó khiến chúng ta làm những việc điên rồ hàng ngày như thời gian dành cho cái điện thoại nhiều hơn cho con cái, cha mẹ và những người thân yêu, cho con học các lớp song ngữ, lớp quốc tế (và phát điên vì tiền lo tiền đóng học phí), đặt cho con những mục tiêu thỏa mãn những khát khao của chúng ta: có chứng chỉ piano quốc tế, thông thạo ngoại ngữ, giỏi đánh cờ, tính nhẩm siêu nhanh, …

Đọc thêm: Dòng tâm sự của mẹ và con gái gây xúc động.

Và chúng ta la mắng, so sánh, đay nghiến, thậm chí đánh đòn con cái của mình khi chúng không thỏa mãn sự kì vọng của bố mẹ. Tất cả các hành động điên rồ đó là thể hiện cho tình yêu thương chúng ta dành cho con.  “Bố mẹ vất vả kiếm tiền để nuôi con ăn học.”, “Thời của bố mẹ đâu có được học hành đầy đủ như con bây giờ.”,….

Chúng ta – những vị phụ huynh hãy ngồi tự vấn lại bản thân mình đã từng ít nhất một lần trong đời làm những hành động sau đây với con cái của mình.

Trí thông minh của con hoàn toàn do gen từ cha mẹ?
Cách rèn luyện trí nhớ cho trẻ dưới 6 tuổi.

cư xử sai lầm của cha mẹ 2

Sử dụng câu mệnh lệnh với con

“Đi ngủ ngay.”, “Dọn dẹp đồ chơi ngay đi.”,… Cách nói không cảm xúc này gây ra các năng lượng xấu cho trẻ, làm con trẻ cảm thấy không được thương yêu. Chính bản thân chúng ta cũng cảm thấy không thoải mái khi người khác giao tiếp với chúng ta bằng những câu mệnh lệnh. Vì vậy, thay vì sử dụng những câu mệnh lệnh, bạn hãy đến bên bé, ôm bé vào lòng và nói: “Đến giờ đi ngủ rồi con.”, “Con dọn đồ chơi gọn gàng lại nhé.”,…

Gây gổ, cãi vã trước mặt con

Khi bạn tranh cãi với chồng/vợ hay một người nào khác trước mặt trẻ có thể làm trẻ sợ hãi, lo lắng vì trẻ không hiểu chuyện gì đang xảy ra. Cãi nhau trước mặt con, cha mẹ đã làm mất đi hình ảnh đẹp đẽ của mình trong trái tim non nớt ngây thơ của chúng. Hơn nữa, chúng có thể phản ứng tương tự như vậy đối với bạn bè, người thân.

4 trò chơi giúp trẻ phản ứng nhanh.
5 bài tập vận động tốt cho trẻ 1-3 tuổi.

So sánh con với người khác

“Sao môn toán con không giỏi bằng bạn A”, “Sao bạn B lại học giỏi tiếng Anh hơn con khi bạn ấy không được đi học thêm nhiều như con”, “Tao thật là xấu hổ vì mày. Tao đổ bao nhiều công sức, tiền của cho mày ăn học mà thua cả cái đứa…”. Đây hình như là cách thức giáo dục, dạy dỗ con rất phổ biến hiện nay. Hiệu ứng “Con nhà người ta” đây ạ. Tôi không hiểu tại sao chúng ta thích mang con mình ra so sánh với con người khác như vậy. Hành động này của bạn gây ra những áp lực tâm lý cho con, khiến con tự dưng sẽ ghét bỏ thậm chí là căm ghét người được so sánh với mình. Người lớn hãy nhớ lại tâm trạng khi mình còn nhỏ, bị cha mẹ so sánh với con của bạn bè cha mẹ đi ạ. Chúng ta không hề thấy thoải mái, và cũng chẳng tiến bộ gì hơn khi bị cha mẹ đem ra so sánh với ai đó. Tại sao chúng ta lại tiếp tục học cái sai của cha mẹ chúng ta để áp dụng lên con cái của mình.

Cấm đoán và đưa ra hình phạt

Chúng ta thường sử dụng hình thức với con trẻ vì cho rằng nỗi sợ hãi sẽ làm cho trẻ nghe lời. Nhưng chính sự sợ hãi chúng ta gieo rắc vào đầu con trẻ sẽ biến con thành một người tự ti, nhút nhát. Không ai trong chúng ta mong muốn con mình thành một người luôn tự ti, khép kín cả nên hãy từ bỏ ngay cách thức giáo dục này nhé.

cư xử sai lầm của cha mẹ

La mắng trước khi dạy dỗ

Chúng ta thường xuyên la mắng con: “Ai cho con làm như vậy”, “Sao con lại làm thế này”,… mà không tự hỏi bản thân đã dạy con phải làm ra sao chưa. Chính điều này gây ra cảm giác ức chế cho trẻ. Vì vậy trước khi mắng trẻ cần tự hỏi bạn đã dạy con mình chưa.

Đổ thừa cho con

“Vì con mà mẹ muộn giờ rồi”, “Vì con mà ông bà buồn đấy”,… Những câu nói vô tình này của bạn làm bé thấy bé thật sự gây ra lỗi. Những lời nói này có thể biến con bạn thành một đứa trẻ tự tin, không dám làm gì vì bé luôn sợ mình sai.

Các tế bào não bộ kết nối với nhau như thế nào?
Phương pháp phát huy tối đa tiềm năng của trẻ

Woman with her daughter sitting in a cafe

Mặc kệ con với cái điện thoại

Bây giờ, mỗi khi vào quán café, nhà hàng bạn sẽ bắt gặp hình ảnh bố mẹ gọi đồ ăn, uống cho con rồi chúi đầu vào cái điện thoại. Thậm chí, bạn nhìn thấy hình ảnh đứa con cứ ngước đầu lên nói chuyện với bố/mẹ mình, còn cha mẹ chỉ ừ hử cho có. Có một chuyện rất đáng suy ngẫm mà tôi chứng kiến, bạn học cùng với con trai tôi đã có một lời ước: “con ước mình biến thành cái điện thoại.” khi cô đề nghị các con ghi lại mong ước gửi ông già Noel.

Tất cả những hành động trên chúng ta coi đó là chuyện bình thường. Vì vậy chúng ta đã chấp nhận, thậm chí còn đồng tình, ủng hộ chính là những hành động bạo hành tinh thần với trẻ nhỏ. Người lớn chúng ta hãy thay đổi thói quen một chút thôi, để con trẻ phát triển toàn diện về mặt tinh thần lẫn thể chất.


Trẻ thường có năng khiếu gì? Biểu hiện như thế nào?
Trí thông minh và tư duy có phải là một?
Năng khiếu có di truyền không?
Kích thích não bộ là gì?
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