Con hiếu thắng là do cha mẹ! Bạn nghĩ trẻ hiếu thắng tốt hay xấu?

 

Những đứa trẻ hiếu thắng hay ghen tị luôn sống trong tâm trạng căng thẳng, lo lắng, sợ thua người khác. Tâm trạng đó kéo dài khiến bé suy nghĩ tiêu cực, sẽ biến trẻ thành người luôn quá bản thân, quá tham vọng.

Muốn thay đổi tính hiếu thắng hay ghen tỵ của trẻ, cha mẹ cần truyền đạt cho con trẻ nhận thấy cha mẹ thương yêu con không chỉ vì những gì con làm được.

Con hiếu thắng là do cha mẹ

Không ít cha mẹ chỉ khen thưởng khi con đạt kết quả cao và xử phạt khi con thất bại hoặc thua kém bạn bè mà không hề để ý tới nỗ lực của trẻ. Trong khi, lại có nhiều phụ huynh tỏ ra kỳ vọng quá mức vào con, bắt trẻ phải giỏi hơn người khác.

Trong trường hợp này, trẻ chỉ biết một cách duy nhất: làm sao để giành được phần thắng. Lối suy nghĩ đó kéo dài khiến trẻ luôn coi trọng thành tích và trở nên quá tham vọng. Người quá tham vọng có thể thành công nhưng lại khó hạnh phúc.

Vì vậy, cha mẹ không nên đem vật chất hay phần thưởng ra làm mồi nhử. Phụ huynh tránh nói với con kiểu cổ xúy: “nếu con đạt giải cao nhất trong cuộc thi này thì mẹ sẽ mua cho cái máy tính mới/ xe đạp mới.”, tránh gây áp lực cho con theo kiểu “khi đi học, ba luôn đứng đầu lớp”…

Hướng dẫn bé cùng chơi với màu sắc và học cách trồng cây.
Giúp trẻ nhỏ học về đạo đức qua 4 thói quen tốt hàng ngày.

Trẻ hiếu thắng

Không so sánh con với người khác

Thực tế, so sánh là một trong những nguyên nhân chính tạo nên sự đố kỵ trong lòng con trẻ. Bố mẹ vì muốn con phải cố gắng, ganh đua để bằng bạn bằng bè nên so sánh con với một bạn nào đó vừa học giỏi, vừa ngoan ngoãn hoặc so sánh giữa các con với nhau. Nhưng sự so sánh đó lại là phản tác dụng vì khi thường xuyên bị đem ra so sánh với một đứa trẻ khác có nhiều ưu điểm hơn sẽ khiến đứa trẻ sinh lòng đố kỵ, thậm chí tạo cho bé tâm lý thù địch với đứa trẻ được lấy ra để so sánh. Trẻ sẽ nghĩ rằng “Cha mẹ phê bình mình đều tại đứa kia, nếu không có nó, mình sẽ không bị mắng như thế”.

Thay vì so sánh trẻ với người khác, bố mẹ hãy cho con biết con của ngày hôm nay có điểm gì tốt hay chưa tốt hơn chính con của ngày hôm qua để con tích cực phấn đấu. Trẻ không bị đem ra so sánh với đứa trẻ khác sẽ là đứa trẻ tự tin vào bản thân mình, từ đó cũng không mắc phải tính ghen tị, đố kị. Vì trẻ nào cũng có tính sĩ diện, không muốn thua bạn nên việc so sánh với bạn khác làm trẻ không tiếp thu mà còn có những phản ứng tiêu cực.

Nhấn mạnh đến sự cố gắng

Cha mẹ không nên lúc nào cũng tập trung vào việc bắt con mình cố vượt trội hơn những đứa trẻ khác, thay vào đó, cha mẹ hãy nhấn mạnh đến việc phải cố gắng hết mình: “Con hãy cố gắng hết sức vào việc đó”, “Đứng đầu không quan trọng bằng việc biết được mình đã cố gắng hết sức, con nhé!”.

Cha mẹ không chỉ đề cao thành tích con đạt được mà cần đề cao sự cố gắng trong mỗi việc làm của con.

Hoàng Tuyết


Đọc thêm các bài viết cùng tác giả tại:

Dạy con quản lý và sử dụng tiền như thế nào?
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Có nên dạy trẻ sớm về tiền bạc?
Trả tiền cho trẻ làm việc nhà, có nên?
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4 kỹ năng mềm cần thiết cho trẻ mầm non – Học từ doanh nhân nhí Bảo Ngọc.
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