Trẻ nói dối: Khám phá sự thật sau những lời nói dối của trẻ và cách cha mẹ nên làm

Điều quan trọng nhất khi trẻ nói dối đó là tìm ra nguyên nhân của lời nói đó, chứ không phải việc phạt trẻ thật nặng!

Những trẻ lớn từ 4 tuổi trở lên đã có khả năng tư duy logic và bắt đầu biết thể hiện cái tôi của mình. Đó cũng là thời điểm mà cha mẹ phát hiện những lời nói dối ở trẻ. Khi ấy, nhiều cha mẹ “quá quan trọng vấn đề” khi con nói dối, cũng có những cha mẹ lại thờ ơ và có người lúng túng không biết cư xử sao cho đúng. Bằng trải nghiệm thực tế cùng với sự tìm tòi, Bé tư duy cho rằng, trong trường hợp này cha mẹ nên thận trọng, cư xử đúng mực và để ý tới “cái tôi” của trẻ.

Những nguyên nhân khiến trẻ nói dối

Khoe khoang trước mặt người khác

Đây là lý do phổ biến nhất, trẻ nói dối để mong muốn nhận được sự công nhận của người khác và thỏa mãn “cái tôi” của mình. Qua đó khiến mình thu hút hơn trước mọi người. Biểu hiện của việc nói dối dạng này đó là trẻ thường khoe khoang với mọi người những thứ mình có hay những khả năng của bản thân nhưng thực ra lại không phải vậy. Thực ra, trong lòng trẻ đang kỳ vọng rằng bạn bè, cha mẹ sẽ ghi nhận mình. Trong gia đình, nó cũngxuất phát từ suy nghĩ rằng, nếu trẻ giỏi giang trẻ sẽ nhận được tình yêu thương của cha mẹ.

Cha mẹ nên làm: Trong trường hợp này, cha mẹ nên hiểu rõ nguyên nhân, dành thật nhiều sự quan tâm và yêu thương tới trẻ. Không những thế, để trẻ không tiếp tục phóng đại bản thân mình, bạn cũng nên cho con hiểu rằng, bạn yêu con và tự hào về tất cả những gì con đang có chứ không phải việc con phải trở thành ai đó thì cha mẹ mới yêu. Đó là thái độ khẳng định với những cái đang tồn tại.

5 bài tập vận động siêu tốt cho trẻ dưới 1 tuổi.

Trẻ nói dối khi phạm lỗi để che dấu lỗi lầm

Để tránh bị phạt, khi phạm lỗi trẻ cũng có xu hướng nói dối để che dấu hành vi của mình. Đó là phản ứng của rất nhiều trẻ em trong giai đoạn 5-8 tuổi. Nếu con bạn gặp phải vấn đề này thì bạn cũng đừng nghĩ rằng “con mình hư hỏng”, “con mình không phải là người tử tế”. Hãy bình tĩnh giúp con nhận ra hành vi trước khi trách móc gay gắt.

Cũng có trường hợp, trẻ vì ganh gét với anh chị em mà nói dối để đổ tội cho người khác. Mục đích của trẻ vừa trốn tránh vừa muốn dành sự yêu thương của cha mẹ mà trẻ nghĩ anh chị em đã cướp đi tình cảm đáng lẽ thuộc về mình.

Cha mẹ nên làm: Trong trường hợp này, điều quan trọng nhất là cha mẹ cần tìm ra nguyên ẩn sau hành động dối trá đó. Tiếp theo hãy cho trẻ hiểu hậu quả của hành vi nói dối như việc đó sẽ làm giảm sự tin tưởng của mọi người, sẽ gây ảnh hưởng xấu đến người khác. Cuối cùng, hãy cho trẻ có cơ hội sửa chữa lỗi lầm trước khi trách móc nặng nề. Còn nếu bạn thấy trẻ vì thiếu thốn tình cảm mà phạm sai lầm thì chắc bạn đã biết cần phải làm gì rồi chứ?

Cha mẹ nên lưu ý:

  • Nếu cha mẹ không hiểu nguyên nhân cũng như tâm sự thật sự sau hành động của trẻ mà ra sức trách mắng trẻ thì có nguy cơ đem đến cho con một vết thương lòng. Cũng có trường hợp sự tra khảo thô bạo sẽ khiến đứa trẻ về sau càng nói dối nhiều hơn.
  • Nếu cha mẹ biết  con nói dối nhưng vẫn bỏ qua thì trẻ sẽ tiếp tục nói dối để che dấu nỗi lầm.
  • Hãy sử dụng cách nói thẳng thắn để trẻ hiểu nói dối là không đúng, nhưng hãy thật khéo léo.

Cha mẹ giả vờ không biết và tra hỏi trẻ là hành vi sai lầm

Có nhiều phụ huynh khi biết con mình nói dối nhưng vẫn giả vờ như không biết và đặt ra những câu hỏi với mong muốn con mình tự nói ra. Thế nhưng cách này hòan toàn sai.

Ví dụ có trường hợp, một người mẹ biết con ăn rất nhiều kẹo nhưng lại giả vờ nói “Ai đã ăn hết cỗ kẹo này nhỉ?”. Theo diễn biến tâm lý, đứa trẻ muốn biểu hiện tốt trước mặt cha mẹ và sợ mất thể diện nên sẽ nói dối để che dấu hành vi, trẻ thường trả lời “không phải con”. Cha mẹ lại tiếp tục “không phải con ăn sao, thế ai đã ăn nhỉ?”. Và trẻ lại tiếp tục bịa lời để nói dối. Rồi khi thấy đứa trẻ tiếp tục nói dối không ngừng, cha mẹ quát lên “mẹ biết rằng chính con là người ăn kẹo, tại sao con lại nói dối mẹ”. Bạn nghĩ trẻ sẽ sợ sẹt phải không, đúng thế, nhưng không bạn thử đóan xem trẻ sẽ nghĩ gì? Trẻ nghĩ “mẹ biết mình ăn mà còn giả vờ không biết, mẹ cũng là người nói dối và sinh ra chán ghét cha mẹ.

Cuối cùng thì, dù có bị phạt như thế nào đi nữa, về sau trẻ sẽ quên hết mọi chuyện mà chỉ nhớ cảm giác chán ghét của mình. Đó là một cảm giác có ảnh hưởng tiêu cực tới mối quan hệ giữa cha mẹ và trẻ.

Lời khuyên của chuyên gia: Bố mẹ chỉ cần nói “mẹ nhìn thấy con ăn rất nhiều kẹo, mẹ đã từng nói với con không được ăn quá 3 viên kẹo, chắc vì kẹo ngon quá nên con không kiềm chế được đúng không? Nhưng ăn quá nhiều con sẽ bị sâu răng, bụng sẽ đau, về sau không được ăn như vậy nữa nghe chưa?”.

Trẻ đặc biệt ghét cách bố mẹ lượn quanh để lừa trẻ vào tròng, nếu bố mẹ mong muốn con nói ra suy nghĩ của mình, nhất định phải quan tâm đến con đừng để con rơi vào tình trạng mâu thuẫn đến phải nói dối. Điều cuối cùng nên nhớ, hãy chú ý tới lý do thật sự của việc nói dối trước khi quát mắng trẻ.

Nguồn tham khảo:

“Dạy con theo phương pháp Hàn Quốc”

“Những đứa trẻ hạnh phúc – Montessori”

Đọc thêm:

Giáo dục bằng kỷ luật hay tình cảm.
14 bí quyết để thành công trong việc giáo dục lễ nghĩa học từ chuyên gia Nhật Bản.
Những sai lầm của người lớn ảnh hưởng tới sự phát triển trí não của trẻ.
Những cách giúp con phát triển khả năng sáng tạo.

 

 

 

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